Online Dating Part Two
by sakuramboo on Jan.05, 2011, under Bored
The last time I posted about this, I talked about the word “fun” and how it is such a bogus term used for what one enjoys doing. This time, I want to go over some of the commonalities found within the female profiles found on match.com. The following are things that I have noticed most, if not all, women post in their profiles.
1)They like to have fun.
Well, of course they do. But, more interestingly is the fact that they rarely say what fun actually is. I talked about this in greater detail in my previous post, so let’s move on to the next one.
2)They enjoy going out and staying home.
This is another one where they really say something without actually saying anything at all. So, what they are saying by this is, they enjoy everything. That is very misleading. I’m sure that when the work day is over, there is an activity that they will more times than not participate in. I guess they leave that part out to let the viewer determine what that activity is.
3)They are sports fans.
Why are all the female sports fans single? What character traits do they have that links sports to their inability to maintain a steady relationship? Typical guys want their significant others liking sports, so why are they still single?
4)They love to laugh.
Laughing seems to be another popular theme among online profiles. However, I feel that this is like the word “fun”, it should be understood, an unwritten rule. Laughter means enjoyment, parallel to pleasure, so it should go without saying that they like to laugh, everyone likes to laugh.
5)They are looking for kind, caring, loving guys.
And all the different similar words used to describe decency. Most will not include other characteristics that they are looking for in a partner. This leads me to believe that other than a decent person, they don’t really know what they want or they don’t really care. And given my list of rejections, I’m more inclined to believe it is the former of the two.
There was one more commonality that I noticed but was inclined not to include it in the list because these words did not show up as often as I expected, but was still pretty common. And that is their need to not play games. Yet, with such little original information in their profiles, they are playing a game, the game of Figure-Me-Out-On-Your-Own-If-I-Let-You.
With all of this being said, where does that leave us? In short, hit or miss, expect a lot of missing.
January 5th, 2011 on 10:42 am
You make some great points. While reading this post, I came up with an idea how to stop people from putting “Fun” in their interests and hobbies, and it’s quite simple really. I really enjoy making web forms, the whole concept of making things idiot proof, going through the mindset of a… challenged person, it just really makes me think. Instead of putting “List your interests” I would put “What do you consider fun?” Now, that wouldn’t rule out everyone, but I think at least 75% of the people filling out these forms would be declined to list “Fun” after that. The other 25% would represent people who can’t read or choose not to.
January 5th, 2011 on 10:58 am
You see, on match.com there already is a section for listing what you like to do for fun and that is where I got number 2. Most, if not all, women put down that they like to go out to bars, clubs, concerts and sporting events but staying at home can be nice too. That doesn’t tell me anything useful.
Match.com also has guidelines for writing a good profile, sadly, I don’t think even 20% of their users have read their guidelines.
I think that they should rename that section from “What you like to do for fun” to “What do you normally do when not working.” and even then, I still think that many people would get that wrong.
I’m not interested in what you do once in a while, well, of course I am, but I care more about what you are doing when you are done with work or when it’s Saturday, what do you find yourself doing most often.
I like going to concerts, but last year, I went to one, I’m not going to put that in my list of fun activities because I don’t do it enough for me to warrant letting everyone know. I might say that I enjoy going to concerts but don’t get a chance to go as often as I would like.
The way they word their profiles makes it sound like they are all socialites in need of being surrounded by people 24/7 and that once in a while, staying home is okay, just so long as there is nothing else going on. When in reality, the exact opposite is most likely the case.